This one is a book that is in a series I've already talked about! The coincidence series by Jessica Sorensen! I talked about the first book in this series some weeks ago which was The coincidence of Callie and Kayden. One book later in this series (#3), we get this pretty one: The Destiny of Violet and Luke by Jessica Sorensen!
Luke Price is known as a real womanizer, from one women he goes to another. He might be tough on the outside but there's so much more to him. He wants control, he needs order and what he wishes the most are distractions. Those are the only things that can mute the memories of his childhood. He no longer has the need to remember that period of his life, but the past always haunts you down...
Violet Hayes life is a mess. Entangled in drugs affairs and neglect, she only has nightmares. Violet grew up in many foster homes while being haunted by her parents' unsolved murders. She needs closure but there is none and the wound just keeps getting ripped open. To survive in this awful world, she doesn't allow herself to feel anything and has to keep distance from everyone...
Both teenagers find each other and instantly hate each other, yet they can't seem to stay away from one another. There is no way of fighting destiny, and both start to open up and feel things they've never felt before. Never wanted to feel before or even allowed. Together they try to find a way and discover how similar they really are. But what one must never forget is that the past always haunts you down...
I enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed The Coincidence by Callie and Kayden, but these two aren't really comparable to each other... yet Jessica Sorensen did it again! This book was so stunning and so deep that I just kept reading!
The first things I heard about this trilogy about Violet and Luke was that I'd hate reading it because of Luke. It was just the same criticism as I said in the other review, but from what I also read on the back of the book I first wasn't convinced I'd want to read this. Yet as every other book I check out and aren't that convinced about... it comes back. It haunts me and then I decide to give it a chance anyway. And I'm glad I gave this a chance because it was so worth it!
As I said this was really different to The Coincidence of Callie and Kayden and we already get to see that in the way the characters behave. The main female character, Violet, isn't anything like Callie. Callie was the silent one, introverted but Violet is... hateful. She hates everything, she is irritated very easily. What I liked most about Violet was the fact that because of all that, she stood up for herself. She bites (back).
We know she has had a very bad childhood, both her parents were murdered and we really see how she acts because of that, what insecurities she hides behind her irritation. But from the start, I was convinced that she wasn't all about that tough love. Throughout the story we get to know the real Violet and I was happy that we could see that transformation and how she has changed.
As for Luke, he's the arrogant one. The bastard, I'd say in comparison with Kyle. Kyle is the team player, Luke needs his control. I was really curious to what has happened in his childhood that made him the man he is now. There was just something about Luke that I couldn't shake. I just had the need to find out how he really acts and if he's really been behaving like this for his whole life. But also Luke has his secrets, which got me more curious.
The good thing was that we already have seen sides from Luke in the Coincidence of Callie and Kayden, so that added more to my curiosity! I can say that I did like him from the start, whereas with Violet I wasn't all too sure but she grew on me eventually.
When both collided with each other, I was so amused. The way they act with each other, how they react and such is just too amusing! I did got that both of them were really irritated by each other and were hateful. That part really shows that both need control and order but also distance from other people. They don't want to get burned a second time. You really see their characteristics in action and that's what I loved most in this book.
Then the plot, it was not how I thought it would be. Many warn you because Luke is a womanizer and that this will have bad influences on the language and how this book would develop but again, I didn't find anything of that leading to a bad book.
On the contrary, this book really kept your attention. And I think this statement was perfect with this book: 'Opposites attract each other'. There's a constant pushing and pulling, distance and longing and that kept this plot really exciting. Who is going to give in first? How is the other one going to react on this? Many questions arise but all do get answered.
I just enjoyed this book so much because both characters are so different from what I expected them to be but also from the books I've read so far. I've never had a book where two could dislike and like each other so much that it might end well or end badly. That was another thing that I was really astonished about, would there be a good ending? A happy ending? Sometimes it leads to that, but others times you aren't that convinced anymore. It's another factor that really kept me reading along!
And for the ending... It was VERY surprising but you'll have to read for yourself. But the whole plot isn't as realistic to me as the story of Callie and Kayden was. It's still something you can connect with, and still very rational but I found Callie and Kayden just a bit more 'normal'. That doesn't make this book bad of course, it's just a little thing I thought!
As I already said before: Jessica Sorensen did it again! I'm glad I gave this book a shot and didn't let it go because I got scared off by the bad comments on this book. If you read The Coincidence of Callie and Kayden and want to read more by Jessica Sorensen but still something totally opposite? This is your book!
A little remark, if you don't want to read the Coincidence of Callie and Kayden, you can start this book and only read the story of Violet and Luke. If you do want to read Callie and Kayden's story, I recommend you reading it in the order that Goodreads gives you which you can find HERE. I only say this because if you don't read them all in the order like I did, you get spoiled! I just read the trilogy of Callie and Kayden first and then the trilogy of Violet and Luke, and I got spoiled big time! This is because the stories are woven together and the characters are seen in the other stories during this series of 7 books! So watch out for the spoilers!
“Even though the odds are in my favor, doesn’t mean they’ll end up that way. First rule of cards. And of life.”
As you might have seen in my blog post about the Book Feast 2015, I had bought 4 books: The Hunger Games trilogy and the Dutch version of Finding Sky. This post will be all about my feelings towards the book Finding Sky by Joss Stirling!
When English Sky moves to America with her artistic parents, things change when she gets a glimpse of Bad Boy Zed. She can't seem to get him out of her head... Literally. He talks to her with his thoughts. He knows what she's thinking. Sky doesn't believe he can do such things, she think she's going crazy! Especially when he tells her they need to be together, that it's their destiny. He is the boy she will love forever. Dark shadows from the past arise but a new devil threatens her future. Sky must face everything she never wanted to face.
First and foremost our main character Sky. Sky did have a really hard past that she also tries to forget. And because of that past she's very insecure and think she's stupid and bad for everyone. Her new arrival in America doesn't really help with it, her new school students start laughing with her. I really felt with her when she was feeling this insecure and this broken but luckily there comes a friend along the way! She's also very artistic but in a different way than her parents. Sky tries to give away her emotions through music, that's something I was a great fan of. Books that use music are one of my favorites because I'm also a great music junk!
Of course there's more to Sky than only that... Her past is really tragic and it will be shown and explained throughout the story which I was thankful for. I kept on waiting for more to her past because I had my own suspicions after she gave some clues. She also seems to struggle with seeing things she thinks aren't there. That's what I loved most about this story, her imagination that might be real, might not be real. Also we are left in the dark for a while about what is real to her imagination.
As for the Bad Boy Zed, he was some arrogant bastard when I met him in the story! I felt like I could really hate him but I did LOVE his brothers! I don't want to get into detail too much because I think it would be more fun if you discovered it for yourselves. But they're really different from Zed and are protective over their family. It's by the way, a really big family! But I loved each and everyone of his brothers, even if some were more static and others more funny or mysterious. That's what I adored most that, they were all so different but still some are more alike than others.
Then he changes my mind because suddenly he tries to scare people and then he's being a creep by telling all sorts of things to Sky like 'We're meant to be together',... That's some serious weirdness! Especially when there wasn't even a hint that this was going to happen. It just... happened? And that's what I thought was sad because I think it would've had more effect on me when there was some kind of hint he was for example following her and then blocking her and THEN tell her all this random things. Unfortunately there wasn't anything dramatic or thrilling to the part where he says they belong together.
But when Sky and Zed cross each others pads before this weird event, I did think that Seth was apart from arrogant, really scary and maybe even dangerous! He just does things that make you think he might be the evil one. And so the mystery begins... Is he the evil one? What does he really want with Sky? But most importantly can we trust him with his intentions?
I only fell connected with some characters at some points of the story. I think Sky was the best of them all because she had the most development in her character, to my opinion. The others were nice but there wasn't really something that left me speechless.
Now, the plot was okay. I can't say that it wasn't predictable because it was. There was romance, there was mystery and thrill so that kind of made up for the predictable part in this book. Although I think the romance at some points was a little bit overdone and not realistic anymore. That because there's a sudden change and that character isn't acting as it was before. It really took away the romance in my opinion, but it did get better further in the story.
What I was very fond of in the story was that when you had longer parts where nothing happened, you really got surprised with something mysterious or thrilling. I never saw it coming that it was going to happen 'now' or 'what' was going to happen. The mystery around the evil past and the evil threatening our main character Sky, wasn't predictable which I was happy about. It also stayed a mystery for a longer period. That while the mystery around Zed his crazy talk and aspects about Sky were told sooner in this story. I don't know if I'm really bothered about that because there was a greater mystery roaming around.
One thing I really hated at one point in this story where her parents. In the beginning I thought they were really nice and all but at a certain point while you're reading it's as if they don't know Sky is alive. They just start planning things, even if she doesn't want it, and go with the flow. I didn't like it because in the beginning they talk a lot with Sky, they consider things as a family. Then they just acted instead of think. It really bothered me that they had this sudden change because later on they're back to normal. I don't know if it was Joss Stirling's intention or not but it just bothered me, especially after they were so nice and protective.
Overall this book was an okay read. I did like reading the book but I had more expectations. My niece thought it was a great book so I was already assuming some things. I'm glad I read the book because it was a nice change and I also fell in love with some parts but for me, I'm sure there are better books. It's not necessarily a bad book, it was good but I wasn't left speechless at the end.
"You have half our gifts, I have the other..."
Finally, I'm going to review my all time favorite not-paranormal, not-angel-like, not-goddess-like book! This is one of my favorite authors, well I only have like 2 big favorite authors and she's one of them. I wanted to talk about this book forever but it's been a while, around February 2015 since I read it. It's still my all time favorite in this category though! And it's a series which made it even better, I could keep reading about them and love them more... I'm talking about this book: The Coincidence of Callie and Kayden by Jessica Sorensen.
For us, our home means safety, Kayden doesn't feel safe in his own house. He's suffering in silence and hoping that's the only way to survive. One misstep will mean the worst, one misstep could be his end. One day that end came very close but his savior was even closer...
On her twelfth birthday her luck ended, everything was taken from her. Hoping it would never happen again, Callie turns her whole life upside down. She no longer wants to feel, she wants the pain to stop. Now, six years later, she continues to struggle with the painful secret that threatens to consume her.
When fate brings them at the same college, Kayden wants to get to know his savior who changed his destiny. Callie still fears that everyone will take advantage, even Kayden. Despite her ignorance, Kayden tries to be a part in her life and then realizes that this time, Callie needs to be saved...
The first time I saw this cover I was hypnotized, I found it so stunning! I had heard so many things about this book, positive parts but also negative parts. The negative mainly said that there was a lot of sexual tension in this book and that it wasn't appropriate for Young Adult. So I began my own investigation to find out how people felt about it and the ones that I asked told me that it isn't like that.
Of course other people I asked said that there was a part where the characters are that intimate but that it didn't really bothered them and really enjoyed the story. That really got me over the line to get the book and I'm so glad that I did. I was very happy about the outcome for all different reasons but let's just start with the characters!
The first, and for me, most important character is Callie. Something horrible happened at her 12th birthday, something she can't recover from. Ever since that day she has closed off her world for others to see. She wears the ugliest clothes that make her look big and neglected, she even had cut off her hair. Nobody really knows what made her change, and eventually everybody decided to stay away and defriend her.
Callie is one of those girls that doesn't find a way out and feels really insecure about herself but also about the world around her. She feels as if everybody is going to be horrible because of that one person. Basically one ruined it for all of them out there! I really felt with her because of how she's feeling. We get to see a lot of her emotions throughout the book and also her doubts towards many characters. She doesn't trust like she used to, she is very introverted and shy. With those things I could really connect with this character!
The one that really helps her with her insecurities and tries to get her out of her shell is a side character. I wouldn't see this one as a side character because I feel like he has a big impact on her and does come into view various times. Seth is the one that changes her and makes her try a lot of different things once they met each other at college. It's not that Callie just has a change of heart and trusted him, he has his own dark secrets and inner demons that's why they have bonded over the summer.
I really liked Seth because he mainly lightened the mood and really fulfilled his duty as a best friend. He was always there for her and made sure she started to trust again and to be her beautifully self. He also does that in a very special way, they make a list that they need to do and that also has some impact on the plot. So that's why I see him more as a main character than a side character! I really loved him and was fond that he was around.
The other important character was our dear Kayden. Kayden seems as if he's got it all figured out as if he's the man. He seems popular, he could get girls if he wanted to, for short he seems rather happy and okay. Though also he has his own secrets and wants to escape all the danger.
As I already said he tries to find a place where he doesn't need to do what he's told and doesn't need to be scared. One night Callie also saves him for what seems his end. The night is also retold through their eyes which I was happy about because it's a big thing to know. It's how they met and how Kayden got so determined to get to know Callie. Now he's in college the danger doesn't seem very close and that's why he seems more free.
What I liked about Kayden was that he was the most realistic. Nowadays many teenagers pretend as if they're all fine but deep inside they're breaking down and that's how Kayden is represented. He's very realistic and also someone I could really connect with! Now he has his duty to fulfill which is getting to know Callie and that makes him think about more positive things. It makes him happy because he finds a distraction.
Though nothing is really alright, which brings me to the plot of the story, this time Kayden feels like our Callie needs saving. The further you read into the book the more you'll understand about what's going down and what might happen (again). Let's say that all danger isn't averted and both will need each other really badly.
Of course their relationship will grow, I think that's kind of clear because of Kaydens stubbornness to find out more about Callie. The characters will have major changes but so will the plot! It's nothing fast paced but you'll feel like something is going to happen while hoping it isn't going to be something bad.
If you think this is a very sad and emo-book, it isn't. Of course it's about sad teenagers with their secrets and problems, their inner demons but it's so much more! This book and all the books I've read by Jessica Sorensen are about teens with problems but also about how to get stronger. This is the main subject and moral about these books, it's how they find a way to live with it or to make it bearable. How they find others that are alike and how together they find a way out. I wouldn't say it's an emotional book on level of sadness at all, it's more about the many friendships that come and the brighter future that's near.
I don't want to go too detailed in it because then I'll spoil so much fun but I do want to tell you guys that it's really good! The plot never felt boring to me, I kept excited about it and there were many parts that I was so hyped about! The ending also made sure I wanted to read the next two books because it's a special ending, not a normal one that I can tell!
I remember that I came down screaming because of the end and told my whole family about what had happened AND that I needed the next book directly, as in right now! Also the second and third book didn't disappoint me at all which is a good thing! Ever since that book my collection of Jessica Sorensen has been growing...
I already told you guys about the special list you'll read more of it in the book itself, well every beginning of the chapter there's one thing that stands on the list. In the beginning I was confused about what it really was but once I got what it meant, I felt like it was a nice and simple thought to add to this book. So totally a fan of those!
It's actually a series of 7 books, I did made a little mistake in the order because I read all of Callie and Kayden first but then one book already spoils things for the other books in the series. Do I recommend the other books in those series? Absolutely. We get a trilogy about the best friend of Kayden which was really good but very different from this one. Different in a way that Kayden is more "lovable and calm" and Luke is more strong and you'd think he has an ego but that all changes, that makes it really interesting! And as far as I can remember, all the scenes were new and not repetition.
The last book in this series is about my lovely Seth and about his secrets and problems! I really liked it because it retold you how Seth and Callie have met which was a very nice surprise. It does have many repetitions of scenes which was a little bit a downer for me but I still enjoyed the new parts!
I do recommend this book to absolutely anybody, don't let the negative comments stop you from reading this book! I really enjoyed it even though many said the sexual tension wasn't bearable in it. This type of genres is really something à la Jessica Sorensen, if you don't like it, I don't really recommend you to read the other books because they handle the same topics.
If you do want to try out another book about her, even though this one wasn't the bomb, then I recommend the story about Luke or 'Breaking Nova' because it's another series of her. But this is really the first book I'd recommend from her because it's my number 1!
“In the existence of our lives, there is a single coincidence that brings us together and for a moment, our hearts beat as one.”
I wasn't sure if I really wanted to write a review on this one but then I was like why not? So here I am! And this review is about the book that is a major hype: Life of Pi by Yann Martel. I don't really know what to think about the book to be honest.
Piscine Molitor Patel, also known as Pi, is a Tamil boy from Pondicherry. He explores different cultures and issues of spirituality and practicality from an early age. His father is a zoo owner and he always loved the animals. When his parents decide they're going to move across the world, they sell their business and transport animals to another zoo by boat.
Pi survives 227 days after a shipwreck while stranded on a boat in the Pacific Ocean with a Bengal tiger named Richard Parker. This is his story...
So to be really honest, I didn't want to start this book. I have to read it for school and make a task. And as every book I need to read for school, they just aren't my thing. The genres that they want us to read are genres I absolutely don't like. I don't know why they keep doing it but they make sure that a reader starts hating to read.
That said, I started reading it. I still don't know how to feel about the story. I didn't like it, I liked it? It's kind of a mixture, because I do feel appreciation for this book in some sort. In the beginning I didn't like it, at all. I couldn't connect with the character. I didn't always understand what he was trying to tell me.
As we get to see more of his childhood, we see that Pi is very open for other cultures and other believes. He believes that there is a God. He starts checking out all sorts of different believes. That part I found really interesting, nowadays a lot of teens don't believe. Even kids don't believe but Pi was so focused on it and he really believed in it. It gave you no other choice than to believe a little with him.
Then there followed a part that for me wasn't always clear and made it confusing until the part when they were on the ship. He explains a little bit when he's on the ship but the story developed really fast to where the ship is sinking. I did feel the horror he had when this whole event was taking place. Everybody is panicking, Pi doesn't find his family and get's on a lifeboat with uncertainty.
Now about that lifeboat, he describes it. Where he's sitting and were the other animals are sitting. Because yes, there are animals aboard, it kind of made me think about the ark of Noah but then a little bit more realistic. I found it very hard to understand how this lifeboat was build. English isn't my native language so that might explain why I didn't understand what a tarpaulin was. I guess not to everybody this story might be hard, but it was for me.
After the shipwreck, I started to appreciate this book. I don't want to go into the details a lot because that'd spoil a lot. Let's just say that I really liked seeing how on such a young age, he managed to survive. What he did during those 227 days was kind of impressing!
But I was very confused when the name 'Richard Parker' was said. I didn't understand it at all. Who was it? Why didn't he say something? Later we get to know that actually, it's a tiger. I was very dumbfounded but also a little excited. Excited because I like tigers so this made things look a little brighter. I was waiting on the tiger for a long time because I knew there'd be a tiger aboard. I only wouldn't have named him Richard Parker because that sounds very humanly.
I also was really fond of the relationship, maybe even a friendship that's come out of this tragedy. Pi was all alone on the boat only with animals, only with Richard Parker. Richard Parker was also alone, in a total different environment. I think both got at least a little attached to each other and I found that really beautiful.
For me this book also had a moral. Since Pi really believed in God, he talks about that a lot. He really believes that this is his only way to survive. Only if you believe in something, you'll find a way out. It doesn't have to be finding land on a boat. The lesson this book gave me can be tested on a lot of things.
My teacher asked us the question if we'd like the book better without animals or with animals. If it would've been with other human beings on the boat? I would've had the same reactions as I did now, I think. I do guess that it'd be very interesting to see how people behave when they're on a small boat, trying to survive.
But this story was with animals... Although many may think such things aren't possible, Pi made it seem possible. He was so convincing that I really can believe in the story and I wonder if that was the purpose of this book. To make you believe. If it was, it did make me believe in most of the story.
Do I recommend the book? For me it'd be kind of a yes but also a no. I still don't know how I should feel about it. And because it gave me a lot of confusion, I gave it a 3.5 out of 5. It was something very extraordinary, I have to admit and yes some parts were written very beautifully. But it doesn't make it all good for when I was confused. I don't know if the film is better than the book, I haven't seen the film. If you have seen the film and read the book, which one did you appreciate more?
“It is true that those we meet can change us, sometimes so profoundly that we are not the same afterwards, even unto our names.”
On Christmas Eve, I finally started My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga. I received the book 2 weeks ago when I finished my exams. I had to put him on hold because I was reading in another book I wanted to finish first. On Goodreads there are mostly good things written about it which made sure the expectation started to grow with each review I read. This book met all of those expectations... It was even better than what I imagined or dared to dream. It's also why I'll be writing a non-spoiler review and a spoiler review. It's written so well and stunning, emotional even. And for once I really want to spill the beans so that's why there is a spoiler review for the ones that already read the book. If you DIDN'T read the book, please DON'T spoil it for yourself! You'll regret it. Do me this favor, if you haven't read the book, only read the non-spoiler review and go pick up that book. As for the ones that did read the book, you don't need to read the non-spoiler review because I'll say everything that's in there, also in the spoiler review.
Merry (1 day late) Christmas to you all!
Aysel loves physics. She loves to know things about it, she'd love to know how it'll explain what happens to energy when someone dies. More specifically, when she dies. Ever since the crime her father committed, her mother can't look at her without being reminded and everybody on school is talking about it. Everybody simply keeps reminding her what happened, what her father did.
It only makes her question her life and if she doesn't cause any problems to her mother. If she isn't a danger, like her father. Is it growing inside of her? Will she become the same monster? She wants to spare everybody on earth and to make that happen she needs to die.
She can't do it on her own, she's scared she'll back out when it'll happen so she goes on a site where she finds a suicide partner: FrozenRobot aka Roman. The boy has faced his own problem and is drowning in guilt. Also he thinks he needs to die. Both teenagers are in their own depression, both teenagers decide to do it together, they'll get each other to an end. The End.
You'd think from what you read that this is going to be some hard, dark stuff to read but actually it isn't that hard as you think. It's very light written en really captures every part of the thoughts that might go through a teen's head when he or she is suicidal.
Both main characters want to die and find each other on a site. This story was written so beautifully and stunning it was hard to stop reading. Especially because the two characters each have their own problem that makes them suicidal. I had a lot of questions because the 'why' isn't fully explained until further in the book. I was fond of the mystery around the sad characters, they kept their family in the dark but also the reader.
Aysel's reason will be explained very late in the book. Of course you get aspects and clues to why she wants to die but what happened to make her think this way stays a mystery for later in the book. I was really fond of this character because of the way she was. You'd think she'd be sad all the time, boring and dreadful but it wasn't like that. She'd say stupid jokes and ask stupid questions that did give you a smile on your face, she'd see things a little bit brighter and that's why I really liked her. Naturally she'll have moments in the book where she's really sad and doesn't understand the universe.
She's also a physics geek and whenever she gets the chance to daydream a little, she'll use science questions to keep her busy. As for her family, they try. She doesn't experience it but during the book some characters really make an effort and tell her that they really are trying but that she's just too blind to see.
As for Roman's family, they're really nice. His mother is very happy but also very protective. She wants to make everybody feel as if they're at home. He's a little bothered about it some times and so is Aysel. Roman is a character that in the beginning made me have a lot of questions. When the characters meet, he seems very handsome, he has friends that walk around him. He seems to have a good life. I guess that's what the author was trying to make us see, that in reality the person just let's you see what you want to see but deep down is actually all broken.
What I was really fond of in this story is their connections. In the beginning they're each very distant, they get mad or irritated. But later in the book they get closer and I really liked that in this story. That if it's going to be the end, you don't need to be alone. You can try and find someone. I really loved the way their relationship grew into a friendship while each of them needs to face their own inner demons. One of the characters eventually does face them because of the other's unspoken words.
The author also left a note at the end of the book:
"To me, My Heart and Other Black Holes has always been a story about the people who understand you, all of you, even the scariest and weirdest parts of you. It's about those people who come into your life when you least expect it, in the strangest of ways, and change everything--it is about the importance of letting those people in, of opening up to them. It is about the people in your life who help you to see yourself differently and the true power of human connection."
This part of the author's note was something that I found in the story too. She illustrated it beautifully in the book and when you read the author's note, you know exactly what she's talking about and see the moment back in front of you. I also thought you could easily imagine the story since it's a topic that's very accurate in this generation.
This book was well written, was fluent and very emotional but also very realistic. My expectations have all been met and then it was still better than what I could've ever imagined. I recommend this book not only because of how moving it is but also because it's a problem very nowadays and it gives you perspective on it, in some way. Did you read any other books by Jasmine Wanga that you'd recommend? Leave a comment or message me!
“I will be stronger than my sadness.”
Aysel loves physics. She loves to know things about it, she'd love to know how it'll explain what happens to energy when someone dies. More specifically, when she dies. Ever since the crime her father committed, her mother can't look at her without being reminded and everybody on school is talking about it. Everybody simply keeps reminding her what happened, what her father did.
It only makes her question her life and if she doesn't cause any problems to her mother. If she isn't a danger, like her father. Is it growing inside of her? Will she become the same monster? She wants to spare everybody on earth and to make that happen she needs to die.
She can't do it on her own, she's scared she'll back out when it'll happen so she goes on a site where she finds a suicide partner: FrozenRobot aka Roman. The boy has faced his own problem and is drowning in guilt. Also he thinks he needs to die. Both teenagers are in their own depression, both teenagers decide to do it together, they'll get each other to an end. The End.
You'd think from what you read that this is going to be some hard, dark stuff to read but actually it isn't that hard as you think. It's very light written en really captures every part of the thoughts that might go through a teen's head when he or she is suicidal.
Both main characters want to die and find each other on a site. This story was written so beautifully and stunning it was hard to stop reading. Especially because the two characters each have their own problem that makes them suicidal. I had a lot of questions because the 'why' isn't fully explained until further in the book. For example, Aysel's father did something really bad because he's in prison right? But I just kept asking myself why that'd be something to kill herself for. What did he do? How did he do it? And how affected her that? Of course later on we get to know that her father was acting strange and then murdered someone. She just felt like she'd become something like him, a monster and do monstrous things. I was fond of the mystery around the sad characters with their own reasons, they kept their family in the dark but also the reader.
I was really fond of Aysel because of the way she was. You'd think she'd be sad all the time, boring and dreadful but it wasn't like that. She'd say stupid jokes and ask stupid questions that did give you a smile on your face, she'd see things a little bit brighter and that's why I really liked her. Naturally she'll have moments in the book where she's really sad and doesn't understand the universe. Then she starts talking about something black inside of her that takes away every feeling she has and when she said those things, it was explained so well that you were moved by it. I wished she didn't have to feel this way.
She's also a physics geek and whenever she gets the chance to daydream a little, she'll use science questions to keep her busy. As for her family, they try. She doesn't experience it but during the book some characters really make an effort and tell her that they really are trying but that she's just too blind to see. At the end she also confronted her mother, she wanted to see her dad. Aysel shared a part of her that she never wanted to say out loud and all because of Roman. That guy, I knew it from the start, was the one that'd keep her from doing the stupidest thing of her life.
As for Roman's family, they're really nice. His mother is very happy but also very protective. She wants to make everybody feel as if they're at home. He's a little bothered about it some times and so is Aysel. Roman is a character that in the beginning made me have a lot of questions. When the characters meet, he seems very handsome, he has friends that walk around him. He seems to have a good life. I guess that's what the author was trying to make us see, that in reality the person just let's you see what you want to see but deep down is actually all broken. And he is all broken, he feels guilty for what happened to his sister and is so determined to die and leave this earth because he doesn't deserve more. My heart ached for him! So many feelings and thoughts were in my mind and I wished he just didn't think like that!
What I was really fond of in this story is their connections. In the beginning they're each very distant, they get mad or irritated. But later in the book they get closer and I really liked that in this story. That if it's going to be the end, you don't need to be alone. You can try and find someone. I really loved the way their relationship grew into a friendship while each of them needs to face their own inner demons. Aysel eventually does face them because of the Roman's unspoken words. Love saved them both! I mean those moments where Roman reached out for Aysel, they were fantastic! I was so happy in that moment and was so eager to see more of it. And the moment where they were camping, that whole part... it made me smile so much! It was fantastic and I loved their connection!
The ending was the most moving in my point of view. I knew things were going to change, I knew one of them would flake out. But then I also knew that Roman knew and now he'd do something stupid on his own. I remember seeing the date about the chapter "Thursday, April 4" and I knew it, that's the day he'd do something stupid.
I was surprised that he used a car though, but my heart was racing very hard when she was trying to find him. I just kept praying he wouldn't die and that this book wasn't going to end with someone dying. The ending... you'd think the ending would've been really their end. It wasn't, thank God!
The author also left a note at the end of the book:
"To me, My Heart and Other Black Holes has always been a story about the people who understand you, all of you, even the scariest and weirdest parts of you. It's about those people who come into your life when you least expect it, in the strangest of ways, and change everything--it is about the importance of letting those people in, of opening up to them. It is about the people in your life who help you to see yourself differently and the true power of human connection."
This part of the author's note was something that I find in the story too. She illustrated it beautifully in the book and when you read the author's note, you know exactly what she's talking about and see the moment back. They understand each others sadness.
Roman is the one that changes everything for Aysel because of his drawing. And can I say that that was absolutely cute? She let him in and she saw that it could be different. That they could fix each other and you could really feel that with each page you turned, they were fixing each other.
I found it very moving and was very pleased by that! I also thought you could easily imagine the story since it's a topic that's very accurate in this generation.
This book was well written, was fluent and very emotional but also very realistic. My expectations have all been met and then it was still better than what I could've ever imagined. I recommend this book not only because of how moving it is but also because it's a problem very nowadays and it gives you perspective on it, in some way. Did you read any other books by Jasmine Wanga that you'd recommend? Leave a comment or message me!
“I will be stronger than my sadness.”
We know she has had a very bad childhood, both her parents were murdered and we really see how she acts because of that, what insecurities she hides behind her irritation. But from the start, I was convinced that she wasn't all about that tough love. Throughout the story we get to know the real Violet and I was happy that we could see that transformation and how she has changed.
